“Be happy with being you. Love your flaws. Own your quirks. And know that you are just as perfect as anyone else, exactly as you are.”
Ariana Grande couldn’t have said that better. Most at times, we see our imperfections (flaws) as something that makes us less of a human than other people.
When this happens, we harshly criticize ourselves for not being like others (one of the many mistakes that we mostly do).
No one can be you more than you regardless of whatever you think you might not be having or might be lacking.
Flaws come in many packages. There are physical flaws, character flaws and emotional flaws but my focus in this piece will be on the physical flaws because that is what is most visible to others.
And they are ones we always wish we could change or find someone who can say the magic words ‘abracadabra‘ to make it all go away.
This list of “flaws” can go on forever, and so can the insecurities that come from them. Some of us may have unusual physical features or scars that we experience as flaws but these flaws are not some sort of unwelcome nuisances, they are integral parts of our lives (no matter how you may view it).
They are what makes us who we are.
They make us unique, special, and beautiful.
I know that someone would be asking, ‘how does the burnt scar on my face, the dry skin I have, the big belly I have… all make me unique, special and beautiful?’
Well, I am here to tell you that it does and the ‘how’ has more to do with our mindset.
The idea of a perfect human being is one of the many things society made up. They are ideas formulated by us. And so you will be doing yourself wrong if you pay attention to what people say about your physical appearance.
There’s a classic saying that goes that – there’s no such thing as perfection.
Even perfectionists sometimes have their own shortcomings. Roses even have thorns.
This is to say that each and every one of us has one thing (if not more) that weighs us down.
The ‘beautiful girl’ or ‘handsome boy’ you think you have seen therefore making you think you are less of a human being has a flaw of their own. It might not be a physical flaw yet it might be something they wish they didn’t have.
Take time to get closer to that person and you would be shocked to know that he or she will be willing to do anything just to be you.
Therefore know that your beauty comes not only from your physical appearance but also from loving and embracing your physical uniqueness.
Instead of viewing your physical flaws as a mistake in your being, why don’t you wear it like a badge of honour?
Empower yourself. Tell yourself I’m perfect just the way I am.
Forget about those who will make fun of you or those who will tell you ‘you don’t belong here because you are not like us.’
Tell them: ‘you know what? Screw you. I’m very perfect the way I am.’
Start wearing your flaws like a badge of honour. Let them know you don’t care if you don’t have straight legs or that one of your legs has been amputated. You are surely as perfect as any of them could be and trust me they will start seeing you as such.
Society (more so bullies) feed on our fears. They always try to find the most thing we are afraid of and taunt us with it.
So what if there are no fears to feed on? They will back off.
Here is a situation where someone tries to make fun of a physical flaw you have and then you laugh together with them.
Imagine how they will look at you. They will try to fight with their mind about what might be going on. They will just leave and will never come back to bother you again.
Why? Because you showed them that what they wanted to make fun of is worn by you like a badge of honour.
It is something you are proud of.
Maybe you might be someone who wasn’t born with any physical flaw. Perhaps something might have happened that gave you the flaw.
Due to that you always beat yourself up thinking what could you have done possibly wrong to deserve such a fate.
That’s one of the surest way to resent oneself.
Well, I’m here to tell you that even you have a lot of reason to wear your flaw like a badge of honour.
It might have been an accident you were involved in that caused you to lose your leg or hand or maybe you got trapped in your apartment when it was on fire and it caused you to get burnt all over.
Maybe you fell and broke your leg or maybe you got breast cancer and lost one of your breasts.
Now here’s the question.
How many people get that lucky to survive such unprecedented occurrences? I would say one out of every ten people.
Do you see? Life has presented you with a second chance and you have a lot to do with that second chance than to resent yourself.
Look at that scar, that amputated leg, that broken bone and tell yourself I’m a survivor. You survived what many couldn’t and so if being stuck in a wheelchair, having a burnt skin or a scar is the price you have to pay, then you should be happy you did.
See that flaw as medal given to you for achieving the unthinkable. For coming out of that accident alive, for surviving that surgery and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
Trust me if you do that, you wouldn’t feel the need to see your physical flaw as a liability.
Here is another thing to keep in mind: Having a physical feature that is not celebrated by society is not a flaw. It is you. It is me. It is beautiful.
A friend once told me:
“you should see your physical flaws as mosaic pieces. Individually, they might look a little uneven and might seem a little out-of-place. But together, they collectively make art. And sometimes a masterpiece.”
Yes. Everybody is attractive. There are no ugly people or ‘flawed’ people so to say.
Wear your flaw like a badge of honour. Love you for who you are and allow yourself to live life as it is supposed to be lived.